Feature- From Skanky to Swanky

Feature written for DN Magazine, Sunderland and also feature in Weard magazine (May 2006):

Students everywhere are flocking to clinical trials, to make a quick buck. But, is there a way of making some easy cash, without ending up with a face like the Elephant Man? Graham Reid takes a look into less risky ways of getting into the black:

Most people would say that being poor come with the territory, when you’re a student. Before I came to university, I had visions of heavy debts, nights with no heating, spending my last tenner on alcohol. Add to that a diet of beans on toast and you could say that I am living the dream.

It doesn’t have to be like that. While the rest of the world looks on in disgust and our parents check their ever-decreasing bank balances, students are starting to take their finance into their hands.

Ever since six volunteers for drug trials had their heads doubled in size, students have been queuing up for their weekly dosage of never-used medicine, safe in the knowledge that they will receive a meaty cheque at the end of it all. To be honest, though, I don’t really fancy the idea of risking a face expansion. There are other options available to the lowly student, and here they are:

Get on a game show
Easy. All you have to do is answer a simple question on the telephone to get put in the draw for ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire.’ Only problem is the question tends to be “Which pharaoh liked to only play snooker on mild days?” or something similarly vague.

Alternatively, you could wait until a university edition is produced and then they might be asking you to appear, rather than you begging for the chance. In 2003, Penn State student, Mark Lovin, managed to win $64,000 during the US College version of ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire’, which must have come in very handy when it came to loan repayment. Plus, he probably got himself a world cruise, a new car, swanky clothes etc, etc, etc.

Sell loads of stuff on eBay
Some of you illegal ones might already be copying your CDs, then selling the originals on eBay, for a tidy profit. Of course, I can’t condone this, although the dirty money that maybe ‘accidently’ gets sent this way wouldn’t be a sin.

Criminal activities aside, students tend to have loads of stuff that they don’t really need. Most of my loan went on ‘stuff’ I didn’t really need and the portion that wasn’t liquid could easily be flogged on the world’s premier auction site. Old mobile phones go for anything from as little as £30 up to £200. Furthermore, if you want rid of your old ‘Celtic Vibes’ CD, expect to pocket 50p or, if that dusty Limited Edition Def Leppard Collector’s Box is just sitting in the corner, you could swap that for £50!

If worst comes to worst, basic needs, such as breakfast cereal, can fetch as much as £7 (provided it has been discontinued in a country where everyone wants it back- I miss you, Lucky Charms).

Even that beautiful WWf Smackdown Duvet Cover that Nan bought you for your twentieth birthday can fetch as much as £30- just take my advice and keep the actual duvet, a mistake I have lived to regret on Sunderland nights.

Put your loan (or what’s left of it) in an independent savings account
Now before you fall asleep, ISAs actually represent a lot of business sense for the poor student. Rather than that rubbish no-interest student account you already have, why not max out that overdraft and put all that money, coupled with the loan, into an ISA, with as much as 5% interest? If I had been shrewd enough to do that before I didn’t have any overdraft left, I could have made as much as err…. £170 in two years. Okay, it’s not that much, but it’s £170 you haven’t got now!

Alternatively, you could do the same thing but stick it all in Premium Bonds. The interest is only about 3%, but that’s £102 for nothing to begin with, and plus you’ll ‘probably’ win the Premium Bonds lottery and become a millionaire during the course of your degree.

Journalism student Michael Mould split his pot into an ISA and bonds. He said: “You just have to get off your arse and be bothered to do it in the first place. You can give the bank back their overdraft at the end and plus you will have gained a bit of interest.”

So, number three is obviously the more sensible option so far, the problem is you have to get a job and still live like a student when you’re a student. It’s part of the life building experience I suppose.

So what if you’re just a dumb student, scraping deadlines and reading the minimum that you have to? Why not try and be an entrepreneur like the following:

Alex Tew, of Million Dollar Homepage fame

Just last August, Alex was in the same boat as the rest of us. Apart from he had the ingenius idea of setting up a blank page and selling each pixel for a dollar. Not really expecting much to come of it, imagine Alex’s surprise when a month later he was a millionaire! He summed it up with: “It’s all been a bit surreal.”

If none of that interests you, then just go and get your leg amputated, then sewn back on. That’s a quick £1,500. Or take an experimental pill (you can earn anything from £200 to £2,000). Just don’t come running to me when you’re walking with a limp and an ear is growing out of your head.